George Costanza once said, “it’s not a lie if you believe it.” What if that was true of negotiations?
Generally, we get uncomfortable when we’re forced to negotiate. Like with anything it’s hard at first, but gets easier with time. The more comfortable you get with the process, the more chances you end up with what you want. I’ll admit it, negotiations have never been my forte, but here are a couple tricks I’ve learned recently while negotiating a mortgage and my landlord.
It’s not a lie if you believe it
Most negotiations don’t go your way because you accept (consciously or not) the others’ side of the story. No matter how weak or how strong your ask is, you have to believe in it. It’s not “I understand, you have a quota to fill” or “You’re right, you can’t get rid of that fee”. It needs to be “I understand your quota, but this is what I need and I have a budget to respect” or “You can’t get rid of that fee, but that’s the deal breaker for me” or even better, ignore their point-of-view: “this is my budget, what can you do?”
You have to believe in your ask as if it was the only option and only then will it becomes true. And when you believe it to be true, then you can start getting others to believe it too.
Be empathetic
You can’t believe in their point-of-view, but you can be empathetic to it.
Don’t be an ass.
Educate yourself
Negotiations are one part psychological, one part tangible. Educate yourself on the matter. Do you really need a mutual fund or will a life cycle fund do the trick? Is it legal to break a lease? Do you really need that extra warranty protection? You need to know and understand what you’re asking for. You’re usually negotiating with someone who knows the details better than you.
You don’t need to be an expert, but you need to understand and know what you want.
One more thing…
Always keep one more thing in your back pocket. This is the last card you on the table. The last ask, the final argument; there are no more points to be made after this.
It won’t always come to that, but you need to have a clear end-point in mind.
Be ready to walk away
If you can’t walk away, you probably can’t win. What happens after your last argument? You accept the other’s ask or you don’t. That’s it.
Are you prepared to leave it all?
Your turn, what else can you add? Any stories to share?
(Photo credit: Stefano Mortellaro)
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