You made the wrong choice

by Fabrice Calando on April 24, 2014

Everyday we make different choices: should I wear the brown or the purple socks? Should I go right or left? Should I take the 8:16 train instead of the 8:01 train or better yet should I play hooky just call in sick? Should I quit my job? Should I get the oil changed? Should I, should I, should I… You could say that life is a series of choices.

We make choices based on different factors — upbringing, experience, education, values, faith, beliefs, assumptions. Some people even say that we repeat the same patterns and choices generation after generation until someone breaks the cycle.

The thing you need to understand about choices is that they’re extremely selfish. Once you’ve made it, whatever the reason was, you and you alone have to live up to it.

You walk alone. Once you’ve decided on a path don’t expect others to follow. We have our own choices to make, our own lives to live.

Granted, your choices can impact others, but you and you alone has the responsibility to live up to them. And the truth is most people won’t care. A few will hate them and tear you down, others will love them and put you on a pedestal, but most just won’t care.

That’s all scary, but liberating as well. It’s liberating because, if no one cares about your choice, then you are free to go ahead and take control. Take a risk, do what’s important to you. You have the entire responsibility to make choices that will make you happy.

Sure, there will be tough times, but guaranteed the toughest thing is choosing based on what you think others want. If you’re going to walk alone, it might as well be down the path you choose.

As for me, this morning I took the 8:16 train instead of the 8:01. I’m a rebel what can I say.

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On good and great athletes

by Fabrice Calando on April 23, 2014

The difference between a great athlete and a good one is the ability to win and lose. We all win at times and lose at others and you’ve heard the story before, after a loss the good athlete blames the refs for all the bad calls. A win is obviously because of their skill and talent.

The great athlete on the other hand takes both wins and loses with stride and as a learning opportunity. Sure there’s celebration when they succeed and disappointment when they fail, but they know how to handle defeat. They take responsibility, don’t shy away from further risk, pick themselves up and get going again.

The trick then is to learn how to differentiate and pick the great athletes, the great managers, the great leaders and let them bring their own game.

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You don’t know what you’re talking about!

by Fabrice Calando on April 22, 2014

It’s tempting to get offended when someone speaks or acts against something you hold dearly — a project you care about, a deeply held belief, your experience, your ideas. It’s easy to get angry, get frustrated, become dismissive and close yourself off.

The thing about taking offense is this:

The problem with taking offense is that it’s really hard to figure out what to do with it after you’re done using it.

Better to just leave it on the table and walk away. Umbrage untaken quietly disappears.

Seth Godin

Sure your ego is hurt, but maybe you tied too much of your self-worth to that idea or project. And maybe anger and frustration has worked for some, but I believe that the best response, is to open yourself up. Build on your idea, improve your project, expand your beliefs.

It’s not easy. It requires you to be strong and vulnerable, but in the long run I think the most difficult thing is to let yourself be closed off.

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Instinct or data?

April 17, 2014

When it come to determining what the next step is, you have two choices: Follow your instinct or follow the data. Instinct is of course a feeling. An intuition about what the next step could be. It’s usually based on experience and education. Following the data usually means testing different options and following what works. [...]

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Autonomy and mastery

April 16, 2014

Autonomy and mastery: that’s what we look for as employees. Predictably,  that’s the supervisor’s biggest challenge. Let me explain. The saying goes: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” For a supervisor, giving a fish is easy (conversely [...]

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Discussing the Four Hour Work-Week

April 15, 2014

Tim Ferriss does great work. I’m a fan of his The Four Hour Work-Week. It exposes many of the inefficiencies that are too easily called “work” and offers interesting solutions. Ignore the book title for a moment; to me it’s not about working less, it’s about leveraging the internet, automation and outsourcing to free up [...]

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The pace of revolution

April 10, 2014

The impression, I think, is that revolutions happen quickly. One big bang; overnight, everything changes. The new team is in place, the new corporate vision announced, the new government takes power, the new process implemented. Now the fresh air will blow. True, there’s usually a catalyst (an economic downturn, an election, a loss in market [...]

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What do artists do?

April 9, 2014

A few days ago I came across this definition of an artist: As artists, our job is to help people see things that perhaps we don’t see on the surface. – Louie Schwartzberg Artists are the ones dedicated enough to look below the surface, the ones that work to understand the mechanics and relate it [...]

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What do artists do?

April 9, 2014

A few days ago I came across this definition of an artist: As artists, our job is to help people see things that perhaps we don’t see on the surface. – Louie Schwartzberg Artists are the ones dedicated enough to look below the surface, the ones that work to understand the mechanics and relate it [...]

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They just don’t get it

April 8, 2014

It’s easy to blame them for your failure. It’s tempting to say the voters didn’t get your platform when you lose the election, or the customers didn’t get your product when you go out of business or the students don’t get the material when the class fails the midterm, or the boss didn’t get your [...]

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