And then…everything changes

by Fabrice Calando on January 23, 2012

You know that feeling you have when everything is great? You feel immortal. That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I have a perfect girlfriend, an awesome new job, great family and friends. I really couldn’t have been happier, things couldn’t have been better. And then, on Tuesday, everything changed…

I got stabbed and mugged by a crazed junkie here in downtown Montreal, right after work.

I’m currently at home recovering. All in all, the doctors say I was lucky in my unluckiness. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy. Not only do you have to deal with the physical repercussions, but there’s all the other stuff as well. I’ve spending quite of bit of time trying to think of lessons to be learned. I don’t know that there’s one big lesson here, but this is what I have so far…

  • Do. Because of all that happened, I wasn’t able to complete the Hack Your Life Challenge #3. But the reality is I waited. I had all of Monday and most of Tuesday to do it, but I waited. “I have until Sunday” kept telling myself. Except I didn’t. Do it now.
  • People. Surround yourself with great people. I was so lucky to have support from people from all around — family, friends, colleagues. You can’t go through stuff like that alone. Find people that will push you up.
  • Push harder. Sometimes you got to push yourself just a little bit harder. When I was in the hospital, all the doctors and nurses were focused on getting me out of bed. It was’t easy. Everything hurt. But pushing yourself is the only way to move on. Don’t push, just to push. Push harder when it’s worth it.

But I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned is love what you’re doing right now. Everybody says that and I never understood quite how true that was until last Tuesday. It’s not about missing it when it’s gone, it’s about being happy about what you’re doing it as you are living it. And it’s not just your job, it’s every part of you life. Because you never know when it will all be gone. I know that sounds cheesy, but I just learnt how true that really was.

Hack Your Life Challenge #4

I wasn’t able to complete Challenge #3 because I waited. I’ll be taking on that challenge for myself when I’m back out in the real world. But here’s what I’m proposing for you this week. I know it will sound easy, but I convinced now, more than ever, that this is important. Set-up a happyness metric. I wrote happiness with a y because happiness is yours to determine and not what everyone says it should be. You might be happy as a freelancer or a stay-at-home mom or working in a cubicle, or travelling the world…if it works for you, than that’s all that matters.

Why?

We live in the age of the Internet where everything is measurable. You should be able to gage how happy you are with your life. I’ll be using Steve Jobs’s method of asking myself every morning:

If this were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?

And to that I’ll add why? Why would I want or not want to do what I was about to do today.

It sounds easy on the surface, but I think this will be the greatest challenge of them all. Being completely happy to live every moment is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Sure there will be tough clients, traffic jams, crowded malls, irate bosses and government processes, but none of it matters in the long run.

I’ll be setting-up a happyness metric, but I’ll be gaining a complete life.

Past challenges

If you’re new here, on the first week of January I started the Hack Your Life Project. Each week I challenge myself to explore the details of the programmable system that is my life and stretch its capabilities, as opposed to most of us, who only prefer to learn the minimum necessary. I no longer want to breeze through my life, but take control of it.

These are the past challenges:

  1. Hack your life | Get rid of excess clothing
  2. #HYLP Challenge #2 | Turn off the electronics
  3. Hack Your Life Project | Hello stranger

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  • http://newraycom.com Ray Hiltz

    Fabrice, I can’t describe my reaction to the news you shared other than to say: anger and compassion; anger that this happened to such a truly wonderful and kind person and compassion because my heart goes out to you and those close to you. I’m sending you a virtual hug – but not too tight.

    That you have written and shared this post while recuperating speaks to your generosity and positiveness.
     
    I wish you a very speedy and full recovery.
    Your friend.

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Ray,
      Thanks for your kind words. You’re a very nice friend and glad to be able to call you one! I’m feeling better and better and stronger each day…

      Looking forward to the next #socialplus! See you soon!

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Ray,
      Thanks for your kind words. You’re a very nice friend and glad to be able to call you one! I’m feeling better and better and stronger each day…

      Looking forward to the next #socialplus! See you soon!

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Ray,
      Thanks for your kind words. You’re a very nice friend and glad to be able to call you one! I’m feeling better and better and stronger each day…

      Looking forward to the next #socialplus! See you soon!

  • Micheline Bourque

    Fabrice, so sorry to hear about what happened. It’s unreal. I respect your courage and determination to not let this change who you fundamentally are: a person who believes in happiness and pursues it. Even more so, I admire your courage in seeking to learn from this. I have found that in life those who cause harm are already unhappy. It is no use wishing them more. Hope you find peace. Keep on writing. Maybe you Hack your Life Project has never been more important! Hope to see you soon. 

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Micheline,
      Thanks for your very kind words. How very nice of you! I’m also starting to think the HYLP is more needed than ever!

      See you soon!

  • http://twitter.com/luislondon Luis London

    My God ! Really sorry about this buddy. I can’t conceive this happening in Montreal. So sorry to hear the bad news. Thanks for sharing your experience and what you learned from it, I guess we can all use your advice at  this time.

    This posts talk about your positive attitude, and great valour! 

    Wishing you the best, and to get fully recovered pretty soon. 

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Luis, thanks for your thoughts! I’m slowly but surely feeling better!

      See you soon!

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hi Luis, thanks for your thoughts! I’m slowly but surely feeling better!

      See you soon!

  • Andrew

    OMG…Fabrice…I hope you will recover soon!  I got weird mixed feeling after reading your post…angry, then sad….then super angry…like…super angry….and then very very sad… Why does it always have to happen to the good people?    There was a long silence in the studio after we read this post…Wish you a super speedy recovering…and thanks for sharing your thoughts about love and to cherish every moment of our lives…thankx!  *a manly cyber hug*   :)

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Hey Andrew, thanks for your kind words and the manly cyber hug :) I’ve gone (still going through actually) those same emotions. But I’m really happy as well!

      See you soon!

  • http://www.twitter.com/jeffscott jeffscott

    What a great way to deal with a horrible situation! Wishing you a very speedy recovery, and taking your advice to heart.

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Thanks Jeff! Feeling a little better each day!

    • http://www.fabricecalando.com Fabrice Calando

      Thanks Jeff! Feeling a little better each day!

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  • Catherineguhur

    Remets toi bien de cette terrible mésaventure.  Toujours un plaisir de te lire.

  • Emilia Nowakowska

    You are truly inspirational! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  • Emilia Nowakowska

    You are truly inspirational! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  • http://www.TheEpochTimes.com Jan Jekielek

    Thank you for this inspiring post! “I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned is love what you’re doing right now.” — in particular, I have to tell you, I’ve had this exact same realization through an experience that made me face my own mortality. Get better quick and keep spreading that *positive* energy! 

    My profile: About on http://gplus.to/jekielek
    Thanks Emilia for the link on FB

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