This past week I had the opportunity to speak at the first edition of FailCamp Montreal. It really was a great experience — not only did I get a chance to share the stage with Michelle Blanc, Martin Lessard and Julien Smith, but I got to speak with people who, like me, view failure as a learning and growth opportunity.
Sharing a personal failure isn’t always an easy thing to do, but here is a rough version of what I spoke about (for those of you who were at the event, you’ll notice it’s more than what I actually said. The reason it only lasted 10 minutes is I forgot to say a few things…first failure of the evening).
First off, I’d like to thank Frédéric for giving the opportunity to speak with you. For a long time now if seen failure as a potential for learning and growth and so I’m happy I get to share my experience with you and thank you for being here.
I have to tell you though, when I first head of FailCamp, I was both impressed and intrigued. Impressed because, as mentioned I’ve seen failures as both learning and growth opportunities. I was intrigued though because I wondered “why on earth would anyone really celebrate failure?? Failure sucks!” I’ve learnt a lot from failure, but going through it is painful.
Actually, I have to admit when I found out I’d get the opportunity to speak here and share the stage with Julien Smith, Michelle Blanc and Martin Lessard I was really excited, but I also let myself get a little intimidated. I mean, they’re much more high-profile than me. So I kind of spooked myself out a bit until it came to me — I’m presenting at a conference about failure…even if I fail miserably and screw this up, I’m STILL on topic! So what you’ll get here is either a story about failure and what I learnt from it or someone failing live in front of you…entertaining either way I think. And if that really does happen, the lesson to be learnt is “you should have stopped spending so much time freaking yourself out and have prepared for the freaking presentation!
Anyway, as I was saying, I think failure feels horrible! As a matter of fact, each time I hear someone speaking about failure, I think of something Steve Jobs said during his Commencement speech at Stanford a while back. I’m not sure I’m allowed to talk about Steve Jobs here (NOTE: The event took place at the Montreal offices of Microsoft Canada), but he was referring to the time after he got laid off from Apple. He said something like: “It was an awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.” And that’s what my relationship with failure looks like — horrible feeling, but necessary. He goes on to state that this time away from Apple was one of the most creative of his life. It’s when he started Pixar amongst other things, so I guess it’s true.
My biggest failure wasn’t nearly as public as his. It kinda dates back to the early 2000′s. I was on my way to graduating from McGill and I knew two things: I wanted to work in advertising and even though we had already been through the dotcom crash, for a good 3 years most of my friends had studied electrical or computer engineering had completely sold me on the idea that the web was still where it was all going to happen. So I got a diploma in E-Commerce, started working at a dotcom here in Montreal and started a website with some friends. The website was about Montreal’s night-life. We had some decent success — good traffic, great content, good ideas, free drinks, VIP to clubs in the city…pretty much all I could ask for at the time.
Eventually egos got in the way and I figured what I was lacking was business knowledge. I mean part of the reason the dotcom crash had happened was that there was a lack of business planning…plus I needed money. So I decided to get a “real job.” I got a job at a distribution company in the West Island. If you want to picture it, it was a mix between Office Space and Boiler Room — they honestly could have shot both movies there. I eventually walked away from the website.
Now this isn’t the big failure I’m leading up to, but I did learn that you should watch out about going in business with friends and that if you do, you should prepare for both the business’s failure AND its success because they can both bite you in the ass.
The distribution company really wasn’t all bad, I made some nice friendship and I sure learnt a lot about negotiating pricing and margins and stuff like that. But that’s where somehow it all went wrong…
The economy took another dive and I was laid off along with a few hundred others. Only now I also had stuff to pay for like a car, rent, cell phone…plus I had a great new girlfriend. I needed money! I freaked out and scrambled to get any job I could find. Some of my ex-colleagues were now buyers so I thought — I can do that!
I ended-up at a small manufacturing company in Anjou as a buyer. Now if you’re wondering what the on earth a buyer at a manufacturing company is, that makes two of us…I had NO idea what I was doing there. I mean I was the guy that was working at a dotcom and was working my way to the world of advertising and here I was sitting in a cubicle switching numbers from one side of the screen to the other.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that of course, but it just wasn’t me and so I entered one of the darkest moments of my professional career. I don’t know if any of you have been in a dead end job and had no clue how you got there and how you would get out of it, but it’s a horrible sinking feeling. And making matters worst, I knew how to negotiate margins, but I had no clue how to negotiate salary. So I was getting paid horribly. I mean I couldn’t even afford to keep my car, which was one of the reasons I needed the money in the first place! So I was stuck going back and forth to Anjou from the Mile End where I lived at the time by public transport…it took me something like 1:30-2:00 hours each way! I actually got physically sick at some point in large part because of all this.
So there I was — I was stuck in a dead-end job that I hated, where I could learn nothing of interest and had absolutely nothing to do with what I wanted to do with my life…I had completely failed. But you know what, I’m not unhappy I went through this. I got so much out of it and I’m not sure I would be who I am now without this experience.
So what exactly did I learn from this? Well I learnt 3 things.
First, failure feels like horrible. I mean, I was depressed and angry for a whole year during this time. But that’s a good thing. The reality is that we fail a lot…probably more than we realize. Some are big failures, others are small. I had taken a wrong turn during my career, maybe you failed to lose the weight you wanted or to learn that new language. And every time you do fail it feels like crap — to varying degrees of course. But because it feels bad you can identify a learning and growth possibility. When I feel horrible about a situation, there’s a good chance I can learn something from it and if I hadn’t completely felt like horrible at the time, I might still be there, hating my life.
Second, failure is a completely personal thing. No one around me cared that I hated what I was doing…heck, some people even loved their job. My failure was their success. I discovered that I had gotten myself in this and I was the only one that could get me out of it. That was really liberating — I had gotten myself into this situation and I knew I was the only one that could get myslef out. So I was able to take the steps to get out of it.
Third, I realized that I had failed because I wasn’t paying attention to something. Maybe you’re so into a project that you don’t realize you’re doing it wrong or that it’s so new that you could possibly never take into account certain elements. But it can also be because you have blinders on. You decide to lose weight without thinking of what that takes…you just hit the gym and quit 3 months later. In my case I had focused on the wrong thing — short-term money gain and what people I knew around me were doing. What that allowed me to do was take a long, hard look at how I had gotten into this mess, what I really wanted to do with my life and how I could get there…
So there you have it. I felt horrible so I knew that I and only I had to get myself out that situation. I knew where I wanted to go. It was going to be hard work to get back on track. For me it took me a good year to get out of that job and find a “rebound” job more in line with what I wanted to do. All in all, it took me a full two years to really get to where I wanted — doing web at Cossette — at the time — the largest Canadian-owned advertising firm.
I’m now a Digital Strategist at TMP Worldwide. We’re actually one of the top agencies in AdAge’s yearly rankings. I get to work with great clients and colleagues all over the world. So I’m pretty happy and I’m thankful I got to go through all that because I’m not sure I would be where I am without that experience. And that’s what I wish that for you: the opportunity to learn from failing miserably…and not to rest until you’ve got to do what you want to do.
Thank you.
Remember, life’s a journey, not a destination. Learning from failure is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned.
Special thanks to Frédéric Harper organizing the whole thing and Microsoft Canada for allowing us to use their Montreal offices.
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